Thomas the Chef
- |September 14, 2022
- |Stories
a fictional nonfiction story that shares a life skill
Since he was a young boy, Thomas had dreamed of being a chef, one of the most revered professions in his village.
Every year, all the villages around the area would host a cooking contest for young adults between the ages of sixteen and nineteen. The top five finalists would be invited to the village leader’s personal kitchen for an apprenticeship that ensured they would have a successful career as a chef.
Having just turned 16, this was Thomas’s first year participating in the contest.
The week before the contest started, he made one of his signature dishes: a savory pie filled with lamb and seasonal veggies. He made one for his friend Otto to try. After Otto finished, Thomas asked what he thought.
“It was great!” Otto said, scarfing down the last bite.
This delighted Thomas, giving him even more confidence he would win.
The next week came, Thomas made his signature pie, but unfortunately, he came in last place.
Thomas was sad as this was his first major setback with cooking. However, he was determined to do better next year.
For the next year, Thomas continued experimenting with new dishes.
A week before the next contest, he brought Otto his new favorite dish: pan-fried chicken with cumin and coriander. Yum!
Otto tried it and said, “This is really good.”
Sensing less enthusiasm from Otto than the previous year, Thomas asked “Are you sure?”
Otto quickly nodded, “Yes, of course. I can tell you put a lot of time into creating this, and it’s really good.”
Less confident than the year before, Thomas entered the contest and made his pan-fried chicken. Unfortunately, he finished in near-last place.
He only had two more attempts until he would be too old to participate in the contest. He had to improve. Fast.
The following year, Thomas hosted countless dinners for all his friends and family, always asking how people liked his food. Every meal, everyone who tasted it gave him nothing but compliments, save for a few minor suggestions here or there.
This confused Thomas. If everyone kept raving about his food, why did he do so poorly in the contest?
A week before the third contest, he cooked some hen in a pot with cinnamon and almonds. He had several of his friends and family sample the dish, and then he served it to Otto.
“Otto,” Thomas said before giving him the food. “Please be very honest with your feedback.”
Otto nodded, tried the hen, and then said, “It’s very good, though it’s a touch too salty for me. Although, I could just be sensitive to salt, so I’m sure it tastes fine to others.”
Thomas thanked Otto for the feedback and adjusted his salt for the contest.
He still lost.
This time, he did slightly better, finishing in the bottom third of the group, but still very far off from the top five.
Thomas felt defeated. He stopped cooking after that contest and decided to focus on a different profession.
‘I’m clearly not meant to be a chef,’ he thought.
One evening, Thomas was going for a walk when he felt so overcome with sadness that he started crying. He moved to a large boulder next to the walking path, sat down, and then wept into his hands.
A few minutes later, Otto came strolling down the path and stopped when he saw his friend in despair.
“What’s wrong?” Otto asked, sitting beside Thomas on the rock.
“I just don’t understand,” Thomas said. “Every meal I cook for people, I’m told how good it is. But then when I cook at the contest, nobody likes my food.”
“Maybe you just need more practice?” Otto suggested.
“What good would that do me? Everyone I cook for says my food is already great, so I don’t know what I’d be practicing towards.”
Otto looked down at the pathway, deep in thought.
“I almost wish,” Thomas continued, “people in this village didn’t like my food. At least then I would get some useful feedback I could use to improve.”
“Thomas,” Otto said quietly.
“Yes?”
“I haven’t been totally honest with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I…don’t really like your food.”
Thomas looked at him, surprised. “But you always tell me how good it is.”
“That’s because I know how important cooking is to you, and I see how hard you work at it,” Otto said. “I was just trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings.”
“Does everyone else feel similarly?” Thomas asked, his face growing warm with anger.
Otto nodded. “Yes, we care for you so much. We felt it would crush your dreams if we told you what we really thought. Talking to you now, I can see we did more harm than good by not being truthful. Had we been honest with you, you likely would have won the contest by now and would currently be a professional chef. Looking back, we thought we were looking out for you, but we were really just looking out for ourselves, trying to avoid putting ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. I’m so sorry Thomas….”
A few moments passed while the two spoke back and forth, until Thomas said, “Okay, I understand what happened, and I don’t hold that against anyone. From this point forward, Otto, I want you to promise me… promise me you will be completely honest when it comes to my food.”
“I promise,” Otto said.
“Good,” Thomas said, and the two shook hands and then started to head back to the village.
“Thomas,” Otto said after a few minutes.
“Yeah?”
“You put way, way too much salt in your food!”
The two laughed and continued chatting until they got back to the village.
During the next year, Thomas cooked his heart out, and Otto and his other friends and family finally gave him their honest opinions of his cooking. Whether the food was too salty, too spicy, too bland, too overcooked, or too dry, they communicated their honest feedback. This allowed Thomas to hone his craft, experimenting with different techniques, and inventing new dishes along the way.
Over time, his meals became better and better, and the critiques gradually dwindled.
When Thomas entered the fourth and final contest, he took second place, securing his spot as an apprentice chef for the village leader.
Amid the celebrations that night, Thomas approached his friend Otto.
“Thank you, Otto, thank you for your honest feedback.”
“And thank you, Thomas, for teaching me the importance of being honest with my feedback when it matters.”
Thomas went on to be one of the best chefs in all the surrounding villages, and he and Otto remained the closest of friends.
THE END
Nick’s Notes
My life dramatically improved when I began adopting a radically honest and transparent mindset with others (I learned of this concept from reading Principles by Ray Dalio). Whenever I’ve done this and gave genuine feedback to others, they’ve always thanked me for my honesty.
Previously, when someone would ask my opinion, I used to always give positive feedback even if I felt otherwise. I justified this thinking I was avoiding making the other person uncomfortable. In reality, I was truly avoiding making myself uncomfortable.
Too often in our conversations, we say one thing but think something else. It’s so incredibly hard to get someone’s true opinion. As a result, communication breaks down, and it holds us back.
There are certainly instances when giving a false compliment is appropriate and being brutally honest is not the best choice (if a kid handed me a glass of lemonade he made and it was a little too sweet for me, I’d probably just say it was great… unless the kid wanted to be like Thomas the Chef of course).
But when we are dealing with someone we respect and when we are being asked to give an opinion on something that’s important, holding back our true thoughts can be very destructive.
Try it sometime. Next time you feel the urge to bend the truth a little to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, try being a little more direct. It doesn’t need to be confrontational, just honest.
A technique I’ve found useful here is helping to manage their expectations. A way to do this is saying something like:
“Would you like my honest feedback?”
[wait for a ‘yes’]
“Okay, I’m going to share my honest opinion. I’m sharing this with the intent to help you, so please don’t view any of this as an attack or be discouraged by anything I say. You’re very skilled in what you’re trying to do, so I’m hoping my feedback can help elevate you to the next level. Also, keep in mind I’m just one person, so it’s also very possible I could be different from everyone else and you shouldn’t listen to my feedback at all.”
Some people may need more or less of a setup depending on their receptivity to honest feedback.
By being honest and transparent when most of the world sugar-coats everything, my meaningful relationships have deepened, and I feel like others and myself are truly connecting.
Try it out, and let me know how it goes!
Congratulations on the story that makes an important point. I loved the line where Otto frames it with “we were really just looking out for ourselves…trying to avoid putting ourselves in an uncomfortable position”. I hadn’t thought of those circumstances that way. Not that I am good at honest feedback all the time either.
Thank you for the comment 🙂 I’m still working on getting better at providing honest feedback myself. It’s a constant work in progress. Otto’s framing is something I keep in mind whenever I’m struggling with being honest when I know I should.
How easy to read this was is a dream for my personality type :)… a short story that explains the importance of honesty and transparent communication is absolutely something the world could use more of! I am sooooo excited to read what comes next!!
Very well written, Nick. Great story with a great life lesson! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for the compliment Alyson 🙂